Are You Addicted to Rushing Through Life?

Are You Addicted to Rushing Through Life?

Recently I’ve noticed my mind getting into a bad habit. A bad habit with three parts: thinking about how much I have to do, racing ahead to the next thing on the list, and feeling resistance to doing that next thing, because it’s standing in the way of the next three things I have to […]

Are You Afraid of Losing Your Edge?

Are You Afraid of Losing Your Edge?

In his podcast interview with Krista Tippett, creator of the radio show On Being, Tim Ferriss said that people recognize the benefits of meditation but they “tell me they’re afraid of losing their ‘edge.’” “What does that mean exactly?” I wondered. That if we meditate — if we feel at peace and start to accept ‘what is’ — that […]

How to Escape the “Do-Everything-Yourself” Trap: Delegate

How to Escape the “Do-Everything-Yourself” Trap: Delegate

You have way too much on your plate, you’re juggling multiple roles, there’s never enough time to get everything done and there doesn’t seem to be a solution. Well, actually, there is: delegation. One of the best ways to develop your team and organization, delegation remains one of the most underutilized and underdeveloped management skills. […]

The Real Reason You Don’t Focus on What’s Important

The Real Reason You Don’t Focus on What’s Important

Bruce Lee said, “The successful warrior is the average man, but with laser-like focus.” What he should have added is, laser-like focus on what’s important. Because, it’s not enough to just know what actions are most important. We need discipline and systems to not get caught up in things that are urgent and demanding immediate […]

How To Micro-Cize Your Life

How To Micro-Cize Your Life

It always takes me by surprise. When I give my presentation on “how to get a mental six-pack,” I ask the audience, so what’s your biggest takeaway? In my mind, I’m thinking it’ll be something like “I didn’t realize we have to master our biology in order to change” or “now I have a model […]

“I See You.” How to Catch People Doing Things Right…

“I See You.” How to Catch People Doing Things Right…

I was coaching a healthcare executive who’s caught between a rock and a hard place. The staff at his hospital are unhappy and at one point threatened to quit en masse if changes weren’t made. Why? They feel taken for granted and unappreciated. This executive is someone with great integrity and commitment to developing his […]

How To Believe It Before You See It

How To Believe It Before You See It

Too often, we get it backwards. We think it’s when we reach our big goal – the seven-figure revenues, ideal weight or championship trophy — that we can believe it’s possible. In fact, we have to embrace our vision before it actually happens: “You’ll see it when you believe it,” said Wayne Dyer. That’s what […]

How To Escape the Time-Scarcity Trap

How To Escape the Time-Scarcity Trap

If you’re a working human being in the modern world, you’re keenly, maybe even obsessively, aware of time, often thinking: “There’s never enough time.” “This is taking too long.” “I’m falling behind.” For sure, it’s hard not to come from a place of scarcity around time when our success seems to revolve around it. But […]

Are You Still Using Training Wheels on the Bicycle of Life?

Are You Still Using Training Wheels on the Bicycle of Life?

Last weekend, here in Paris, I went with my sister, Carolyn, and her three kids, Emeraude, Henry and Ferdinand, to the Bois de Vincennes to do some bike-riding. For the last two summers, Emeraude and Henry had started learning to ride a bike when they visited their Grandpa George in Concord, MA but hadn’t succeeded in riding without training wheels. When […]

Are You Tolerating Too Much?

Are You Tolerating Too Much?

Wait, Renita, what are you talking about? Don’t you always say we have to get comfortable being uncomfortable? Well, let’s make a distinction between two kinds of uncomfortable: there’s the discomfort of going into the unknown, the unfamiliar, taking action when we don’t know how it’ll play out. And then there’s the discomfort where we […]

9 Ways You’re Already Mentally Tough

9 Ways You’re Already Mentally Tough

As you know, I think a lot about “mental toughness” and how we can train ourselves to have more of it. But I also think we can get so caught up noticing the times we aren’t mentally tough that we overlook or discount the instances when we are.  Mental toughness doesn’t have to be reserved for some high-stakes situation […]

How I’m Breaking My Emotional Addiction

How I’m Breaking My Emotional Addiction

Standing at the crowded coffee bar, I waited patiently to catch the attention of the server frantically busy filling orders. A tall German woman strode up next to me and, with no hesitation, called out her order for two cappuccinos. I looked at her, incredulous, feeling the urge to slap her arm and say: “Are […]

Are You Working Hard Enough?

Are You Working Hard Enough?

Hard work: it’s the secret to success, we’re told from an early age — by our parents, society and pretty much every person who achieves notable success.   But what exactly is “working hard” and how do we know if we’re working hard enough?    Good question. We’re not really taught any nuance around what constitutes “hard work.” And because work in today’s world isn’t linear and we don’t get immediate feedback after […]

Want to Be Better under Pressure?

Want to Be Better under Pressure?

“Who here thinks they do better under pressure?” When I ask this question to the Navy SEAL candidates I mentor, most of them raise their hand. And most of us would probably agree. But guess what, the idea that we can be “clutch,” though widely celebrated, is a total myth. As Drs JP Pawliw-Fry and Hendrie Weisinger explain in their book, Performing under Pressure: The […]

How To Feel Less Defensive

How To Feel Less Defensive

“Have you ever been incarcerated?” When I was mentoring at Defy Ventures, an organization that trains formerly incarcerated individuals for employment and entrepreneurship, I learned that that was the question participants dreaded most in a job interview (and understandably so, since it often meant the end of the interview). Though, for most of us, the […]

The Pain of Feeling Left Out

The Pain of Feeling Left Out

I’m living in Paris for the next few months and psyched to have found a Crossfit-style bootcamp so I can keep up with my training. The group is all French, and they have been friendly and welcoming, including me in the customary bise — greeting each other with a kiss on each cheek — each […]

Are You Afraid To Go All Out?

Are You Afraid To Go All Out?

In one of the more heart-wrenching stories from the Rio Olympics, US cyclist Mara Abbott was one of two leading the pack in the women’s cycling race as they climbed the steep 19% incline. Racing down the descent, the other cyclist crashed and Mara was alone in the lead — until, 200 meters from the finish line (and a gold medal), […]

The Curse of Finishing Second (and Five Habits of Happy High-Achievers)

The Curse of Finishing Second (and Five Habits of Happy High-Achievers)

After finishing third in the men’s 100 meter race at the Rio Olympics this week, bronze medalist Andre de Grasse excitedly embraced Usain Bolt, who had taken the gold. While Andre and Usain were hugging it up, silver medalist Justin Gatlin looked less than thrilled, lost, no doubt, in counterfactual thought about “what might have been.” As Seinfeld […]

Five Words For Laser Focus At Work

Five Words For Laser Focus At Work

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a kingdom where the people would go to their office every morning and there, they would begin one, single task, and merrily continue doing it until they finished — without interruption or distraction — before starting the next one. Ha, that’s definitely a […]

The Time I Got Busted Not Paying Attention

The Time I Got Busted Not Paying Attention

On Saturday afternoons, I take one of my favorite class workouts, Forza, based on samurai sword fighting, with martial arts fitness instructor Ilaria Montagnani. After the warm-up and technical exercises, we learn two combinations, each a series of 16 moves – half cuts, diagonals, horizontals, for example – combined with squats and specific footwork moving […]

Why You’re Not Getting What You Want

Why You’re Not Getting What You Want

“What do you want?” I asked my client, who had salvaged a major project for the company and was disappointed that the CEO wasn’t articulating his appreciation for her efforts. Well, he had said “good job” in one of his emails but apparently that wasn’t what she was looking for. It turns out, however, she […]

The Real Secret to Work-Life Balance

The Real Secret to Work-Life Balance

“I’m home!” When I was growing up in Iowa, my dad, an engineer at John Deere, came home every night, like clockwork, at 5:00 pm. We’d all sit down as a family to (a home-cooked) meal and talk about what we did that day. In the summer time, we’d go to the park after dinner […]