Are You Still Using Training Wheels on the Bicycle of Life?

Are You Still Using Training Wheels on the Bicycle of Life?

Last weekend, here in Paris, I went with my sister, Carolyn, and her three kids, Emeraude, Henry and Ferdinand, to the Bois de Vincennes to do some bike-riding. For the last two summers, Emeraude and Henry had started learning to ride a bike when they visited their Grandpa George in Concord, MA but hadn’t succeeded in riding without training wheels. When […]

Are You Tolerating Too Much?

Are You Tolerating Too Much?

Wait, Renita, what are you talking about? Don’t you always say we have to get comfortable being uncomfortable? Well, let’s make a distinction between two kinds of uncomfortable: there’s the discomfort of going into the unknown, the unfamiliar, taking action when we don’t know how it’ll play out. And then there’s the discomfort where we […]

9 Ways You’re Already Mentally Tough

9 Ways You’re Already Mentally Tough

As you know, I think a lot about “mental toughness” and how we can train ourselves to have more of it. But I also think we can get so caught up noticing the times we aren’t mentally tough that we overlook or discount the instances when we are.  Mental toughness doesn’t have to be reserved for some high-stakes situation […]

How I’m Breaking My Emotional Addiction

How I’m Breaking My Emotional Addiction

Standing at the crowded coffee bar, I waited patiently to catch the attention of the server frantically busy filling orders. A tall German woman strode up next to me and, with no hesitation, called out her order for two cappuccinos. I looked at her, incredulous, feeling the urge to slap her arm and say: “Are […]

Are You Working Hard Enough?

Are You Working Hard Enough?

Hard work: it’s the secret to success, we’re told from an early age — by our parents, society and pretty much every person who achieves notable success.   But what exactly is “working hard” and how do we know if we’re working hard enough?    Good question. We’re not really taught any nuance around what constitutes “hard work.” And because work in today’s world isn’t linear and we don’t get immediate feedback after […]

Want to Be Better under Pressure?

Want to Be Better under Pressure?

“Who here thinks they do better under pressure?” When I ask this question to the Navy SEAL candidates I mentor, most of them raise their hand. And most of us would probably agree. But guess what, the idea that we can be “clutch,” though widely celebrated, is a total myth. As Drs JP Pawliw-Fry and Hendrie Weisinger explain in their book, Performing under Pressure: The […]

How To Feel Less Defensive

How To Feel Less Defensive

“Have you ever been incarcerated?” When I was mentoring at Defy Ventures, an organization that trains formerly incarcerated individuals for employment and entrepreneurship, I learned that that was the question participants dreaded most in a job interview (and understandably so, since it often meant the end of the interview). Though, for most of us, the […]

The Pain of Feeling Left Out

The Pain of Feeling Left Out

I’m living in Paris for the next few months and psyched to have found a Crossfit-style bootcamp so I can keep up with my training. The group is all French, and they have been friendly and welcoming, including me in the customary bise — greeting each other with a kiss on each cheek — each […]