Are You Tolerating Too Much?

Wait, Renita, what are you talking about? Don’t you always say we have to get comfortable being uncomfortable? Well, let’s make a distinction between two kinds of uncomfortable: there’s the discomfort of going into the unknown, the unfamiliar, taking action when we don’t know how it’ll play out. And then there’s the discomfort where we put up with some very familiar aspect of our lives that serves no greater purpose — a lack of challenge at work, an unethical boss, […]

A Sneaky Secret for (More) Self-Control

Here we are, heading quickly toward the end of the year. If you’re tempted to throw in the towel on your goals — whether work, fitness, diet — and just wait to start fresh in the new year (are you forgetting how much harder it’ll be if you’ve let everything slide?), here’s a powerful tip for increasing your self-control: Remember that no matter how strong the impulse to do (or avoid) something feels in the moment, it won’t last. It […]

‘Tis the Season to Be Emotional, Part I: How To Stay In Control (And Avoid Regret) – Part 1

RIDING THE ROLLERCOASTER Ah, the holiday season. That time of year when we experience those delightful emotional extremes — from the joy and exhilaration of spending time with people we care about to the discomfort of performance reviews and dinner with difficult in-laws. Even if, on balance, you enjoy the holidays, when your emotions start running the show, the rollercoaster ride between the highs and lows can feel incredibly stressful and uncomfortable. WE HAVE A CHOICE When the doctor hits […]

In Praise of Uncertainty (And A Cheat Sheet For Enjoying It More)

Over the weekend, I saw Point Blank, a French action thriller about a nurse at a Parisian hospital whose very pregnant wife has been kidnapped and will be killed unless he delivers to the kidnappers a thief who’s a patient in the hospital. It was sooo good. Even as my heart was pounding, I savored the twists and turns in the plot and didn’t want it to end. What’s Wrong With Not Knowing? Why do we like uncertainty in our […]

Dancing Cop Gets Into Traffic “Flow”

Often, what keeps us from getting in the flow is a mismatch between the challenge of an activity and our ability. Either the challenge is too great and we feel anxious; or not stimulating enough, and we are bored. The trick is to find a way to raise or decrease the challenge to better correspond to our ability. Watch how Tony Lepore, the “Dancing Cop,” does it.

How To Feel In Total Control, Even When You’re Not

Doesn’t it seem as if the more the pace of modern life increases, the more we scramble to keep things under control? In the movie Click, Adam Sandler’s character was given a universal remote control that allowed him to pause, rewind and fast-forward to manipulate the events of his life. But although we may indulge in similar wishful thinking, do we really want to be totally in charge of everything – the weather, the traffic, what our colleagues, friends and […]