No Rules!

No Rules!

A few weeks ago, on a rainy day, I came out of the subway turnstile at 72nd Street. I was following a guy out one of the doors when he stopped suddenly, right there in the doorway — because of the rain, I guess. I gave him what I thought was a gentle “keep it […]

How To Outsmart Your Fight-Or-Flight Reaction

How To Outsmart Your Fight-Or-Flight Reaction

A few months ago, around the holiday season, a friend and I walked into a wine bar on the Upper West Side. (Sounds like a bad joke.) Sitting there at the bar, with a Britney Spears song blaring on the loudspeakers, struggling to read the menu in the dim light and pressured by the overly attentive bartender coming […]

The No-Resolution Approach to 2014

The No-Resolution Approach to 2014

Okay, confession time: It’s 4:00 pm on the afternoon of New Year’s Eve and I’m alone in my sister’s dangerously well-stocked kitchen (think two refrigerators full of holiday leftovers and a walk-in pantry). After a week of maintaining my routine of intermittent fasting and relatively disciplined eating (considering I’m faced with daily onslaughts of French toast and sausage […]

Two Words That Are Music To Everyone’s Ears

Two Words That Are Music To Everyone’s Ears

Leo, a super-smart consultant, had a prickly relationship with his boss. Conservative and extremely process-oriented, his boss invariably found some detail to criticize in Leo’s presentations and proposals. It was clear to me from his behavior that the boss was actually very insecure and intimidated by Leo’s capabilities but his critical remarks seemed to push […]

‘Tis the Season to Be Emotional, Part I: How To Stay In Control (And Avoid Regret) – Part 1

‘Tis the Season to Be Emotional, Part I: How To Stay In Control (And Avoid Regret) – Part 1

RIDING THE ROLLERCOASTER Ah, the holiday season. That time of year when we experience those delightful emotional extremes — from the joy and exhilaration of spending time with people we care about to the discomfort of performance reviews and dinner with difficult in-laws. Even if, on balance, you enjoy the holidays, when your emotions start […]

Who’s In Charge, You or Your Emotions?

Who’s In Charge, You or Your Emotions?

Thanks to the Olympics, it’s been an inspiring week of seeing the most gifted and dedicated athletes in the world showing us the heights of human ability and self-control. Speaking of self-mastery, Kyla Ross, one of the ‘Fab Five’ on the US women’s gymnastics team and, at 15, the youngest competitor of the entire 530-person […]

The Three C’s of Relationships

The Three C’s of Relationships

Relationships – though it sometimes seems like we can’t live with ‘em, I doubt we’d want to live without ‘em. With their vast range of emotions, they provide the delicious texture and color of our lives. Whether they’re providing a little too much “color,” however, or not enough, there isn’t any relationship that can’t be […]