The Real Reason You Don’t Focus on What’s Important

The Real Reason You Don’t Focus on What’s Important

Bruce Lee said, “The successful warrior is the average man, but with laser-like focus.” What he should have added is, laser-like focus on what’s important. Because, it’s not enough to just know what actions are most important. We need discipline and systems to not get caught up in things that are urgent and demanding immediate […]

How To Feel Less Defensive

How To Feel Less Defensive

“Have you ever been incarcerated?” When I was mentoring at Defy Ventures, an organization that trains formerly incarcerated individuals for employment and entrepreneurship, I learned that that was the question participants dreaded most in a job interview (and understandably so, since it often meant the end of the interview). Though, for most of us, the […]

The Pain of Feeling Left Out

The Pain of Feeling Left Out

I’m living in Paris for the next few months and psyched to have found a Crossfit-style bootcamp so I can keep up with my training. The group is all French, and they have been friendly and welcoming, including me in the customary bise — greeting each other with a kiss on each cheek — each […]

Are You Afraid To Go All Out?

Are You Afraid To Go All Out?

In one of the more heart-wrenching stories from the Rio Olympics, US cyclist Mara Abbott was one of two leading the pack in the women’s cycling race as they climbed the steep 19% incline. Racing down the descent, the other cyclist crashed and Mara was alone in the lead — until, 200 meters from the finish line (and a gold medal), […]

Are You Leveraging the Power of Curiosity?

Are You Leveraging the Power of Curiosity?

My dad likes to tell this story from my childhood: I was three years old, we were eating dinner and my mom chastised me for chewing with my mouth open, saying “That’s how pigs eat.” My immediate response: “Do cows do it too?” Apparently, I’ve always been curious about behavior, bovine and otherwise.  Over the years, […]

No Rules!

No Rules!

A few weeks ago, on a rainy day, I came out of the subway turnstile at 72nd Street. I was following a guy out one of the doors when he stopped suddenly, right there in the doorway — because of the rain, I guess. I gave him what I thought was a gentle “keep it […]

How To Outsmart Your Fight-Or-Flight Reaction

How To Outsmart Your Fight-Or-Flight Reaction

A few months ago, around the holiday season, a friend and I walked into a wine bar on the Upper West Side. (Sounds like a bad joke.) Sitting there at the bar, with a Britney Spears song blaring on the loudspeakers, struggling to read the menu in the dim light and pressured by the overly attentive bartender coming […]